What do you do when you feel angry, bitter, sad, or offended? Most people, including church planters, go into masking and medicating mode. They deny or cut off their emotion and distract themselves with something else. The “something” may not be a bad thing in itself like watching a movie or exercising. Others may try to push away their emotions with alcohol or other substances. Church planters just like all Christian leaders know this is not a healthy way to deal with their emotions, but what is a healthy way?
Processing Emotions in a Healthy Way
On May 6, 2025, Tucker Else from ServingLeaders Ministries presented at the Church Extension Ministries Training Day so the church planters would have the skills they need to process their emotions in a healthy way. Tucker outlined the following of what people can do when they feel an overwhelming emotion of pain or sadness:
- Acknowledge the pain. Let yourself sit in the emotion and name it. Avoid distracting yourself from the feelings. Invite Jesus to be with you in this time.
- Identify the longings behind the pain. Are you longing for love, affirmation, control, significance? Determine if the longings are legitimate and what the source of the longing is. Many times the longing itself is positive and based on the way we were made by God.
- Find ways to satisfy your longings in healthy ways through godly behavior and pursuits. This may lead to feeling fulfilled by God. Other times your hurt will linger, but in this process you can trust that God is working in your heart and deepen your intimacy with God.
Soul-Care and Sabbath Rest
After a delicious lunch (thanks to Laurie Kuhns who arranged the catering and made the nacho soup), Tucker presented on Soul-Care and Sabbath rest. Tucker noted that sometimes when he speaks to pastors they will roll their eyes at the term “soul-care,” but Tucker showed from God’s word the importance of pausing even when the work is not done. Rest is a gift from the Lord that we should receive. A Sabbath-type rest could take shape in many forms including taking a break from the relentless bombardment of the culture by turning off the television or staying off social media for a time. Resting can be something active that is rejuvenate for ones soul. One attender mentioned mountain biking. Another mentioned crafting dulcimers. There can also be times of delighting in nature or art or spending time with friends. There can also be times for contemplation through Scripture reading (but not for sermon prep!) and prayer. Resist the urge to work towards a goal in any of these areas. That may turn the rest into work.
The presentation was well-received by the planters. One church planter said, “This will impact my days which need to be scheduled with a Sabbath and I need to have time to sit in emotions and speak them.” Another said, “As the workload mounts and is looming, the pressure of work makes it easy to compromise Sabbath time. I need to emphasize boundaries for Sabbath rest.”
You can find out more about ServingLeaders Ministries on their website. They have video teaching resources on overcoming soul fatigue, unfulfilled longings, and more. Their founder also has a new book out called The Spiritually Healthy Leader: Finding Freedom from Self-Sabatoge.
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